“Years have flown by since you’ve been gone
This broken heart of mine’s been waiting too long
All alone without you I can’t carry on
There’s no sense in asking why
Until I’m there by your side
There’s no one but you on my mind
Searching for a perfect ending that we’ll never find
If we could make it work this time…”
© Andy Connell/Corinne Drewery/Paul Staveley O’Duffy “You On My Mind” from the album Kaleidoscope World, 1989
I have to admit quite freely, that I dont really know where this one emerged from. Some of the lines, particularly the concept of emotions being made human and wearing clothes, you may recall I had thought about in a recent blogpost, but thats all it was, a concept. Now its part of a completed song. I cant even say with honesty that it came from watching anything on TV or that I had read anywhere. All I knew is that once I had the chords, which I was originally going to use for Doesnt Matter Now, the whole thing poured out inside of 30 minutes, from beginning to end. And, as its a first draft I obviously reserve the right to change it and for it to evolve until it becomes a finished product.
As such, can I therefore claim “well, its about…..” with any honesty? In truth, I cant really say that I can.
But, the words paint their own pictures and they tell their own story. About someone who can see that a relationship is only going one way, in the direction where it becomes predictable, that they dont communicate and that he drinks to forget and to escape what he figures is going to happen. And has no idea what to do, to hang on tighter or to try and let go. Or bury his head in the sand and hope it’ll go away. But deep down he knows it wont.
Not in any way autobiographical (he grinned…)
Deep Deep Blue
I’ve had enough of dragging my heart up a hill
For just one more drink tonight, one less ten dollar bill
Treating me mean sure didn’t end up keeping me keen
No matter what, when the cards are down, face up, looking at me still,
When I said I loved you I know that I always will…
Sitting in a bar in old Soho, ten years from now
Thinking that once was a mistake and twice was a choice
So now I’m free and alone to see the whole of the truth
No matter what, even when you said what you meant,
I still cant even begin to understand the whole of you…
Now I can drink here alone, until I don’t recall your name
But when I wake up you’re lying next to me still
Getting up every morning and getting dressed without a single word
Not a backward glance or even a look that could kill….
Now I can see your emotions in this bar all in their summer clothes
Anger in red, glaring at sympathy all dressed in black
Sorrow and sadness over there drinking whisky all in deep, deep blue
Melancholy fumbling around, sometimes catching my eye
Like me, she just doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do…
Now your passion has packed its case, called a cab and left a hole in your heart
But I know that it left a key there, deep down in your bones
The tighter I held on, the faster your sand ran clean through my hand
Had I not tried at all, could I have expected you to understand…?
© Words & Music, Steve McCarthy-Hunt Sept 2015