Doesnt Matter Now

The sheets won’t need changing everyday
The freezer supply should last a year
Those hidden little points that you’re away
Nothing much has changed since you were here
(c) Paul Heaton/Dave Rotheray, “Worthless Lie” from the album “Miaow“, 1994

Written in late February 2015, from what I remember, in one sitting, about two hours long from start to finish. Inspired by three important women who I have loved and the events surrounding them and how they were involved in my life and how they left it. Real events, real people, real memories. In a similar vein to No Getting Over You, as they are the same central characters and it is ultimately the same story being told from a slightly different perspective.

Slightly different in its storytelling though – each of the first two, they have raised you up from a fall, put you back together again and somehow prepared you for the next step, while the third, after he thinks he’s got it all together now and is ready to move on and learn his lessons from the past, then brings him back down to earth with a huge thump.

Again, like No Getting Over You, it might be too personal to be licensed, but I make no apologies for that. Its a story I have to tell and the chorus again, contains those universal truisms – no matter what you think, what you feel about a relationship, in the words of Heaton & Rotheray, “two for one’s no good when theres just one” – you can feel and say and do what you like, but if that other part of you is no longer there, or more to the point, does not want to be there, what you feel is largely inconsequential to anyone but yourself.

As an aside, to put some flesh on the bones of the verses, if anyone is interested (and I’m sure you are, or you wouldn’t have read this far if you weren’t!), the “Clock at London Waterloo” line refers to the famous meeting place for couples (and everyone else for that matter, on reflection) at a London railway station which used to be the Eurostar terminal before it moved to St Pancras. Its a bloody huge old fashioned clock, hanging from the roof and its quite a striking landmark. I asked my late wife to meet me there on our first overseas weekend away to Brussels. It had a bit more romanticism than Ray Davies’ use of Waterloo Underground station for Terry and Julie’s Friday night trysts, thats for sure(!)

waterloo clock

Waterloo Station Clock, circa 2000 (© Colin Duff)

The “English Country House Hotel” line refers to a New Year’s Eve party in 2012 at a Von Essen hotel near Bath that I spent with the woman who helped put me back together again after my wife’s passing and she is also the main subject of Five Years. It was the one and only time I was shown how to open a champagne bottle with a sword (looks very swish, I must say, especially if you’re in full Dinner Suit garb at the time) at midnight in the entrance lobby, while fireworks were going off in the hotel grounds.

The “Town Built On Black Gold” line refers to Inverness (with its obvious connections to the North Sea oil industry, hence the “black gold”) and the lady in question is the same one who is the main subject matter of Come Talk To Me.

One thing is for sure, I certainly make sure I get full mileage out of the characters in my life, LOL. Patty Boyd, eat your heart out… she thought she had got it bad when Eric Clapton kept writing about what happened to them….! *grin*

Doesn’t Matter Now    

Autumn Saturday afternoon in W2
Meet me under the clock at London Waterloo
With your passport in your hand
And a heart thats ready for something new

And as we started our brand new journey
I wondered how lucky one man could be
To fall so hard and be raised from his knees
By you…

But now we’ve said our goodbyes and only one of us grows old
Every day that dawns leaves me that little more cold
The dream was everything it seemed to be
Memories of you make me cry and laugh out loud
Maybe I’ll find it again, but I don’t know how
You know I still love you, but I guess it doesn’t matter now.

Verse 2/
New Years Eve, English country house hotel,
Opening champagne with a sabre, I remember it well
Kissing you at midnight
As the fireworks flew like stars to the distant sound of church bells

And as we started our brand new journey
I wondered how lucky one man could be
To fall so hard and be raised from his knees
By you…

But now we’ve said our goodbyes, in separate towns we grow old
And every day without you just leaves me more cold
And the dream was not what it seemed to be.
Memories of you have me crying out loud,
We could have found love again, but were just too proud
Part of me still loves you, but I guess it doesn’t matter now.

Verse 3/
Spring Sunday in a town built on black gold
Where age has made you more beautiful, but me just old
Trying so hard to read your signs
And thinking a happy end to the tale could be told.

And as I started my homeward journey
I wondered how cursed one man could be
To rise so high and be brought back to his knees
By you…

But we never said goodbyes, in our own places we grow old
Every day without you just wont let the fire go cold
And the dream isnt what I thought it could be.
Memories of you can’t comfort me much now
Maybe I’ll see you around someday, but I doubt it somehow
And you know I still love you, but I guess it just doesn’t matter now.

(c) Words & Music: Steve McCarthy-Hunt 2015.


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